I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
