then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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