If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
