those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
