We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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