Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
