hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
