like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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