I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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