i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
