i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
