Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
