I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
