I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
