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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
