STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
