don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
