I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
