So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
bring money and cleavage
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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