Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
