I cannot find my penis.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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