addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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