my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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