its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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