You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize