I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
