it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Randomize
