Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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