i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
