He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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