sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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