He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
