Already got asked if we're dating
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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