Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
