can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
