I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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