lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
