yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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