Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
