Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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