So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
