Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just puked most of my soul out..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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