Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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