Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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