He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
