my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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