I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
