6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
