Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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