After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Alive.
So much puke
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
