There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
